Ten Things Every Partner Should Know About Intimacy!
By Tilly Rivers

© Tilly Rivers, Author, 2008


Of course we all know that we should never do anything that both partners are not open and comfortable with. Ask. And ask again…..real sexual enjoyment starts and finishes with confidence and trust in whom you have chosen to be intimate with!

Trying these tricks will be sure to set the stage for a relaxing, intimate and fun session of sexual connection with your partner.

1. Focus. When a partner feels beautiful, she/he acts, becomes beautiful. Her/his confidence grows, her/his boldness, daring elevates. She/he is not scared to reveal (in her/his mind) those knobbie knees, and not so cute elbows. She/he feels sensual and sexy from the inside out.
2. Time. Taking the time to explore the ‘whole’ package will reap you rewards. Caress, feel, and absorb her/his body. We all know the difference between a selfish “wham bam’, get my rocks off, about me partner (this can never be faked no matter how good you think you are at covering it up!). When she/he feels how much you are into her/him, she/he will give that back a hundred fold. For the men: The fact that men can’t visibly see when (unlike themselves) a woman is turned off, as we do not loose an erection, tends to confuse men, thus they hurry things, and as a result they miss out on a woman’s full passion ability.
3. Communication. Tell her/him what turns you on. Before. During, after sex. Women/men as a rule are vain creatures and want to hear how ‘hot’ only she/he is making you. Again be careful. It is better to be silent if you do not mean it. This can not be faked either. If a woman/ man seems under active, it is often because she/he is scared of doing the wrong thing, like touching him/her incorrectly. Instructions can be fun if you let them!
4. The importance of knowing your partner intimately. Tenderness. Constant awareness of what your partner is feeling. Lovers should learn to watch one another masturbate, to explore, learn, and give. Freely. To taste. (Cossolette) the natural perfume of a woman.
5. Confidence. The tough-tender mixture. Inner strength not outward muscle, the essence of you, not the physical attributes, knowing he/she is confident, carries himself/herself accordingly is a real turn on for most partners. That isn’t to say that ‘clumsy’ moments can not happen or be fun while having sex (for example head into wall) when you are relaxed, open and confident with your partner you will be able to laugh at these moments and go on.
6. Balance. Rough or Gentle? Both. One. The mood will shift, and when you know your partner you will be able to sense it. Strength-skill-control. There should be times when you are happy to let him/her do every thing and others when you need to control. Great sex can be wildly violent but never cruel. No one can be a good lover if they do not regard their partner as an equal; the ‘divine gift of lechery’ makes the ideal lover. Equal passion.
7. Presume. Never think that what excites one will work just as well for another. Relearn each other’s bodies. The main ‘parts’ may be the same, but their ‘sensitive or trigger zones’ will vary. If you presume you will have a neutral passive ‘taking’ of the other instead of mutual sharing passion. Fire.
8. Breasts. A lot of men still do not understand about breasts. They hurry. For some women her nipples are a direct hot line to her clitoris. Palm brushing, eye lid brushing, licking, sucking, breast stimulus (head to tail, her on top, man sitting woman kneeling) are a major turn on for a lot of women.
9. The butt is recorded to be a major erogenous zone in both sexes. This requires stronger stimulation, holding, kneading, slapping, and taking from behind. Each of these acts are pleasures in them selves.
10. Skin. Touch. The smell and feel of a man/woman (s) skin probably has more to do with the attraction / repulsion than any other feature. Skin stimulation is a major factor. Touch. Texture. Temperature. Taste.

Tilly Rivers has written over seven erotica novels, has been on the best sellers list, won many awards and is considered an international celebrity author and guest speaker. Look for her novels on Amazon, and in select sexual book shops near you.

Look for her new 2008 fall release “Forbidden Fruit” on Amazon, and in select book shops this fall.

This article can be reproduced if copied in its entirety, and with full credit line given to the author, Tilly Rivers.